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NewBieSG fans dont read this.. new BSG humor.

 
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Mark Sheppard
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 2:49 am    Post subject: NewBieSG fans dont read this.. new BSG humor. Reply with quote

If you are a fan of the new BSG, then be warned, This is a humorous post I found on the internet tonight that had me laughing. If you are old enough to have watched the original series (like me) then you will understand completely the humor in this. My aim is not to offend anyone, so please, I know there are a lot of new BSG fans out there, dont read this.

But this is really funny and something I can really relate to.....



WHY BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SUCKS.....


Let me say straight from the top... I hate Battlestar Galactica (BSG) but I have watched every episode so far and will continue to do so.
BSG - sucks!


Why should you care that I hate it? If you are a normal person I guess you shouldn't it care, however if you have a passion for sci-fi then you should really care.

And you should care because it is NOT science fiction, it is a space soap opera. Before season 3 I wouldn't have made such a comment... but season 3 was woeful from the start. There was one good episode but that is about it.

With all the hidden agendas that the humans have I find myself supporting the cylons... these guys don't deserve to live. I would cheer the episode that comes in and wipes out the remains of the human colonies.

Let me start with character I loath the most. I will get to the Sci Fi criticism in a bit.

Starbuck
I can live with the fact that Starbuck is nothing like the original rogue scoundrel (aka Han Solo) that he was in the original series. Hell the fact that he is even a she doesn't bother me. What bothers me is how flawed and inconsistent this character is, her general loathing of everybody around her, even her husband has given me nothing but a general loathing for her.

I cheered when we thought she died on new caprica.. (ok I never thought she had... but it was great that she went down). But I really cheered when she blew up on the gas giant, after all how could anyone survive an implosion of a gas giant. (I'd guess that the writers might have bought her back... and they have as some kind of guardian angle or at least a guardian tour guide. I can't wait for them to explain her resurrection - with her ship no less).

Col Tigh
Well there was nothing wrong here until the final episode... and he turns out to be one of the secret 5. What the f*** is that all about? (notice I used f*** and not frek - I will get to language in a bit).

A man who is a life long friend of Adama, who fought in the Cylon Wars turns out to be a cylon!! Now unless there was a group of human scientists doing secret work on a secret batch of cylons who were skin jobs then I can see no way for Col Tigh to be a cylon. Of course the writers will explain how... and I will watch to see how they pull this out of the bag...

There are a whole lot of other things that irk me... the Chief's kid would be another cylon human breed... so Hera loses her importance, except for the fact that everybody knows she is half cylon. Then there is the Chief-Boomer relationship two cylons were getting it on from day 1, and neither knew what the other was, or what they themselves were?

The whole show smacks of inconsistencies, one off episodes contradicting events from before and character development and plot showing no respect to the story line.

Language
What the f*** is with frek! Oh they wanted to use a word that sounded like f*** but couldn't because of TV sensibilities. OK I will give you that...

Then what the hell is an "inch" doing in the show - a civilization emerged away from ours only to end up using a word to describe a measurement exactly like the empirical standard (that most of the world ceased using years ago), but they created their own English equivalent of f***?

The show is rife with references to not just earth, but to American English and terminology.

Why don't they just put it on an American aircraft carrier and be done with it.

Sci Fi
And now comes the part that pisses me off the most. There is no sci fi in this show with the following exceptions

* intergalactic travel with FTL capabilities
* cylons

that gives this show a whopping two points to call it sci fi. I don't care what timeline you travel along... any civilization that has developed cylons (after all the humans made the original batch) and developed space flight with FTL capabilities should have

* energy weapons (not everything has to be energy based.. but please projectile weapons of the magnitude in use in BSG are so late earth 20th century)

* humans could build cylons, robots capable of self awareness and rebellion. The other thing these cylons have is sensory capability (at least vision and audio). But we can't give Tigh a new eye? I'd settle for a Jordie La Forge implant, hell I would even settle for him declining the operation saying he doesn't want any robot tech implanted in him, but to lack this medical technology and be able to build cylons (and Im talking about the metal robots not the skin jobs) lacks creditability.
* continuing with medicine... cancer... a race of humans have developed space flight, built cylons, gone faster than the speed of light and cancer still kills them? really?

I could continue.. but for now I won't.

But in summary the show is full of characters I loath, language which makes me think the Galactica is in the Persian Gulf launching FA 18's, and enough sci fiction to impress Leonardo Da Vinci...

So why then do I watch it???... thankfully I have a break to enjoy some real Sci Fi... Dr Who or my DVD collection of Firefly... hell I might even break out Star Wars.

This show had so much potential...
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The Loyalizer
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember running BSG through Jump The Shark around season 3, and the leading JTS reason at the time was 'The Cylon's don't have a plan'.
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Mark Sheppard
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had to look that "jump the shark" phrase up, I had never heard that one before. thats funny. What I dont get is why did they do away with the cylon raiders, and make these ships with a goofy little robot face on it?? I remember before I moved back to the states I was reading on the internet about the remake of BSG, it sounded so cool, and then I saw a pic of a viper, I thought "well, it looks ok, they changed it a little bit.." then I saw the first show, and was like ..."WTF.....?"

I saw news that Glen Larson is in talks with Universal studios about doing a remake based on the original BSG..If this were true it would be a phenomenal production. I guess he feels this is the only work he has to redeem himself after the sci-fi channel version Laughing I cant imagine it was him that gave the advice to dress people up in earthly three-piece suits..
maybe mens warehouse travels in the human genetics and is the gene responsible for tailoring bad leisure suits. dont know...
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The Loyalizer
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I chalk it up to budget limitations, which is the bane of many sci fi shows. Then again when you think about it, layers of clothing is always more practical than a red and gold unitard. They really should've pushed the costume design more along the lines of Alien in that regard.

Either that or the three things that will always be present in the course of human history are war, herpes, and bad leisure suits...
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Mark Sheppard
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Loyalizer wrote:

Either that or the three things that will always be present in the course of human history are war, herpes, and bad leisure suits...


I could not put that better myself
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